GAH!

Work is blowing up right now. Not only are people gossiping about me (Matt and Mary) but I also have two new business exploding up and things are not going right. Not enough capacity, presses or the machines don't run right! GAH! And on top of all that Andy wants to bring into another one which we got today. It is good... however it would not bring it's own press but use the "capacity" that is on another press. I don't think they clearly thought this through. And I course of I tried to tell people this and I just get the gloomy Gus look. However Ken F. and Jim understood thank god. I'm not the only one who thinks this is crazy.

It is crazy to think today is about half way through the year and I haven't completed all of my goals? I need to get going on that. So I will do the following by the end of the week.

1. Run Two Times.
2. Journal/blog three times.
3. Call Dad to talk about frequent flyer miles/mutual fund stuff.
4. Finish the Red Tent.

I have only finished two of my fifteen goals. Need to get going on these!

I got stood up.

I got stood up at the bar last night. No one should up. (And I lied this morning that I didn't go when actually I did and had an *interesting* night.) Was at the bar talking to the bar tender Joe and was watching the Twins game. Apparently Tom, Courtney and Andy decided not to show up. The bar tender was joking that he was being called Sweetie/Handsome at the bar. I was also hit upon by a guy/trucker named Mike of all names. He bought me a beer with olives (it was okay) they wanted me to the keggel but said no had to go home. Probably should have not driven home. By the way Joe was amazing because he hid the rest of the drink that I didn't drink.

Yesterday Matt K. and Matt S. were talking about which analyst should get Matt K's old stuff. Apparently Lisa is the only one with enough experience to do the job. I was hurt by this. I have only been there six months, but I feel like I could help. Who knows maybe they only gave me this job as a gratitude thing to my folks.


Aaron had a bad day on his birthday yesterday. I don't know my brother well enough if bad day just meant sucky day at work or friends stood him up at the bar or if he got a speeding ticket. Hopefully I will get to see him some time this weekend and ask him. I hope nothing really serious happened.

Day's Bullets

• Apparently I seem stressed at work. I need information for my A. line and it is so difficult to get. Everyone controls different information and I need bits and pieces of it. Either I don't get it or I have it is pretty pathetic data that I get. I can hardly glen any information from it. I feel embarrassed to ask or question because then people think you are stupid. I guess I need to look stupid then actually be stupid and not ask at all. It drives me crazy! sigh. Will try not to let my emotions show tomorrow.
  

• Not what I want to do but I'm going to the pub and patio bar tonight at 8:15 to hang out with the 02s at 3m My TOWN. But it is good to try to seem social and to make friends right? In the end TV shows are not as important but at the time right now all I want to do is curl up and not show up.
  

• Yea! I just fixed my wireless. I still have the crappy home security that prevents me from looking at liquor, tobacco, porn sights ect. But I can live with that now that my wireless is back in action. I don't look at those anyway. And hopefully I only have 30 more days until it is gone... I think.
  

• There was an announcement at work today that anyone with a child in a certain school district should call HR. Of course everyone was wondering what was going on. Turns out that a Fairfax girl paper girl was kidnapped this morning and they didn't want kids walking home alone today since they hadn't caught the guy yet. Creepy right?

Interesting Tid bits at Work/Home

Today I got a friendly banter from my coworker. He told me that Schells called and that I needed to pay off my tab. He apparently got texted from Chel who saw me at Schells on Saturday when Chris, Becky and I toured the Brewery. Small town when you get reported at the brewery.

Megan stopped me this afternoon saying that she need to take a picture of me. Apparently she really liked my deep chocolate colored hair color and told her stylist. Her stylist said her version of chocolate brown might be different from my chocolate brown so apparently Megan is going to take photo of me. Tee hee. I am amused by this.

• I got up early today! ;-) I was at work (7:20) before Matt S. Was really excited about this.
• I am in the process of cleaning right now both the front room and my bedroom. Only have mopping left and mirror left.
• I brushed my teeth and wore my lower retainer last night. progress.
• I am blogging right now.
  

Rewards for the Weight Loss

Tonight I weighed myself. I weighed in 183.6 pounds. My goal is to get down to 150 pounds. I have made it to 160 pounds before but never 150. To motivate myself (since I haven't been able to lately this is going to be my reward schedule.)

1. At 2 pounds you can buy Nothing but Trouble you want. (181.6)
   
2. At 5 pounds you can get you can get a pedicure (178.6)
   
3. At 8 pounds you can higher a personal trainer. (175.6)
4. At 12 pounds you can buy the jewelry tree. (171.6)
   
5. At 15 pounds you can buy you can buy a massage for your self (168.6)
   
6. At 20 pounds you can buy a new outfit. Whole new outfit. (163.6)
   
7. At 25 pounds you can buy... will be decided on later. (158.6)
   
8. At 30 pounds you can buy...will be decided on later. (153.6)
   
9. At goal weight 150 pounds you can buy purse of your choice. (150)

Also because of my extreme coffee love if I don't work out the day before I don't get coffee the next day. Hopefully these punishments and rewards

Goals For The Week and How I'm going to accomplish it.

1. Clean the Apartment, before Friday.

• Clean one room a day.
• Will set a timer for an hour and just clean.

2. Will try to fix my computer.

• Will try to fix it by uninstalling and reinstalling wireless. (Wednesday)
  
• If the above does not work on Sunday I will take it to the geek squad.
  

3. Will Run five times this week.

• Will head immediately to the gym after work.
• Will write a reward schedule for getting to certain weights. (see other journal entry)
  

4. Will Write Allison and Sidsel this week.

• Will start writing Sidsel today. (Sunday)
• Write Allison on Sunday.
  

5. Will work on teeth regiment-get better on evening brushing.

• Will make effort to brush.
• Will make conscious effort to put retainers in.
  

6. Read two books this week.

• Have already finished Nicholas Sparks the Last Song.
• Currently Reading Firethorn.
• Next after that is the girls of Riyadh.
  

7. Blog.

• When ever logging on to computer log on to blogger.

I WILL BE PRODUCTIVE TODAY!

I will get these things done:

1. Blog (hee hee already working on it)
2. Clean up/Pick Apartment
3. Dishes
4. Run
   

Weight/Running
I weight 184 pounds right now. I need to lose quite a bit of that. I would like to lose 34 of that. It would be great if I could get 14 of that in the next year or so. If not faster. I have not run since April 4th. I keep putting if off. Today I will not. I will run. I swear I will. Or else.

Waking Up/Showering/Make up
Today I did not leave my bed until well after 7. I did not put foundation for work. I was literally My hair is greasy. Again...this procrastination is not good. I would like to start getting into work at 7 so I could leave earlier like 4.

Work
M. is being a pain in the ass. He is asking me all these questions about can we delay this order? Are they going to go in back order, is it just a replenishment order? And I want to be like dude. You don't schedule this I do. I don't care if you have to work the weekend. If you can't keep up during the week then guess what you have to work the weekend. Get your training better or do a better job with quality but orders will go out in time. I understand you have a bottom line but take it up with quality/ken but not me. I am judged on on time delivery... you are judged on overtime/pay. We need to agree, but if M. will not work all over me.

Crap today Myron told me I explained something well... don't know if this a good sign. eek. help.

Dinner is done...after the news it will be time to go get crackin' at dishes and vacuuming.

Mountains out of Mole Hills

Issues I have at work. And I have a lot of them.

• Am I doing Enough Work?

I feel so bad. The other three analysts are so busy, I feel like I can take on more. But when I still need so much in training is it fair to ask for more? I feel so torn. AHKA!

• Corporate Credit Card

Do I need to get one for the trip we are taking? Or can I just rely on someone else to pay? And how to do this?

• Boxes Approved or Not? Help here!

Steve approved my purchase of boxes. I am confused... do I need someone else to approve my purchases? Does the division need a say? Help here Steve. Where did I go wrong?

• Canada quote?

I was copied on this email... and uh.. am I suppose to do something with this? Help here too!

I called Mom. She helped me realize that I am making mountains out of Molehill and that I need to talk to my boss. I have only been working for four months, Mom pointed out, I will make mistakes. This first thing I need to do is talk to Steve tomorrow.

Yeah... I feel exhausted now but I'm going to be productive doing something.

Also for Note.
1. Reservations for Saturday are at W.A. Frost.
2. Comcast is coming tomorrow at Noon.

I remembered my dream last night.

This morning I woke up remembering my dream, I hardly ever remember my dreams. Maybe six to twelve times a year do I actually remember it. And this wasn't a good dream this was a nightmare. It was really interesting like a crime solver where I figured out that the guy I was with was inventively going to kill me and I didn't do anything to get away from him, because I knew I would not succeed in escaping.

Oh. Ick. Watching the biggest loser and they are covering debt right now. I did not get my finances in control in March. So this how I will get my finances in control

1. I will finish Smart Women Finish Rich (April)
   
2. I will read Millionaire's Next Door (May)
   
3. I will read/invest in 3M stock program. (April)
   
4. I will email Mark Harrington about talking about this Friday.
5. Money will be invested by the End of April. (April)

Work today kind of sucked today. I need to meet with Steve and request more work. I'm getting bored. My business are doing okay but I need more.

Goals For The Week

1. Read and Finish two books.
2. Run four separate days this week.
3. Clean up the paperwork on the pile of the desk.
4. Laundry.
   
5. Brush teeth twice a day, rinse once and wear retainers for five days.
6. Make Reservations for Dinner this Saturday.
   
7. Call Cable company to make appointment.

Saturday Special

Ah. Got to love Saturdays. I am sitting on my couch watching Twins baseball, and eating frosted flakes. The only thing I could wish for is that my TV wasn't so shaky and that picture cam in clear. I think it it is my cabel or the network. If it continues to do this I will call comcast.

Yeah today is going to be an interesting day, I did something that I haven't done in awhile. I slept in. I was going to get moving around nine or ten but smacked my alarms off and didn't move until 11:25. I even slept through a phone call from the Edward Jones financial guy... yuck. At least he doesn't give up but still. No.

Mom and Dad went to the cabin this weekend with Aaron. I heard about this Thursday night. Next weekend they are going too. I would have gone but I am going to the theater with Chris Brorkman. i feel bad that I don't go up with them. Aaron does a lot of work up there with the folks. I haven't lately. I think they know it is a long way for me to come home, I have to drive an additional two hours to go with them and they would have to wait, but still I feel guilty for not helping as much as Aaron has. It would make sense if they gave him, the lake home, but i know they are leaving it to both of us. I shouldn't have to worry about this... I bought a lottery ticket last night (and my last two with Aaron have been winners!) so yeah we are going to win big.

Work this week has been uh either feeling like I know my shit or herding turtles. Really people need to take opportunities that are laid before them. Then people should not question me, (who that sounds really conceited) but seriously I know what I am doing...just trust me.

Oh and speaking of work, I asked two of the guys one in his late 20s early 30s and another one who is in his early 20s how old i am. The young one guessed 25-29 and then said it was better to go to young, then too old. I just smiled and didn't tell them my age.

I didn't wake up early enough today--I missed going to the Minnesota Music Hall of fame. The museum is only open from 10 to 2 Wednesday through Saturday. How stupid is that!? Instead I will go to the John Lind house or goose landing or maybe to the cemetery. But that will be tomorrow today is

1. Twins Game
2. Running
3. Waxing/cleaning the floor
4. Mailing letters to Amy/Allison
5. Reading
   

Okay... let see if I can get these things done...

My List of things to do.

1. Prescription
   
2. Monies
   
3. Pick Up
4. Reading
5. Blogging (other then this)

Prescription is sitting in the mailbox to go tomorrow--hopefully there will be no issue. And I have 14 to 21 days to get it back.

My Monies are done. Check book is updated. And my budget is updated. If I am able to spend 49 dollars a day. If I cut down to 34 dollars. I will be able to save 390 dollars this month.

I was able to pick up, all I have to do is dishes left. And I'm watching the Twins September to Remember so I am a really happy. I also should be happy because I got a 1.35% increase this year. That is an extra 700 dollars a year! Uh YEA! I'll take it. Hee hee.

Also my idea for a Kanban board for A. line was thought as a great idea by M. he is going to ask Ken tomorrow plus Tom told me I should pawn off my work for that on Jessica because my time is too valuable. YEA! It makes me feel good and all the pressure I felt this week about making this Kanban board is taken off my shoulders because the board isn't order yet.

Going to go wash dishes...actually nope going to watch Joe Mauer's spotlight. Oh I love baseball and I LOVE the twins!

We will see about reading and dishes later.

Exhausted.

I am exhausted. I have no idea why I am so sluggish but I am. Doing chores, dishes, ironing, running, even reading does not sound appealing right now.

Well I got up and made myself go and do this dishes and read for a little bit. Maybe the baseball opening day will shake me out of this funk and I get some other stuff done. I'm going to grab the ironing board and iron to see if that will motivate me or least force me to get something done.

Yea! I'm back and have ironed 3 shirts. So that one task is done for the week. I can cross at least one thing off. I also have the twins on... we will see how they do against the L.A. Angels.

Happy Easter!

I'm pathetic. I wearing my new ring on my left hand because I would love it to be an engagement ring. I am love with love. It doesn't help that I am watching Sex and the City too. Which is all about love. I am going to be Miranda this year at new years "alone with Chinese food".

Speaking of the ring, I bought it with promise to my self that when i look at it i would get my butt to the gym. I should go... and finish this journal entry up later.

Ah Shit. What did I do?

Ugh. I woke up this morning with the sun shinning brightly in my eyes. I should have loved it, but my teeth acked a sign that I need to wear my night gaurd a little more since I was grinding last night. The reason why I was grinding oh... I don't know it could be a) I'm lonely b) my work week was hellish or c) I talked to my ex Mike tonight.

Last night I spend the night cleaning. Not exactly the hottest plans for a Friday night. Don't get me wrong my apartment really need a good cleaning but it wasn't exactly fun. At ten I was sitting down when I got a call from Julie-she spent the night out with grad students and then had her crush walk her home. Jealous you bet I am. I need a manual on how to create friends in a small town.

After work (5 pm last night) I realized how much my week sucked. For the V. line I ran out of boxes, nearly ran out of colorant and then the truck to deliver my base material did not show up on Friday as they should have. I don't get it. I was calling around desperately and I was able to get a truck coming first thing Monday morning. thank god. The material should hold over the weekend but I am really nervous that we will run out. That will be my prayer all weekend that I wont run.

Mike. Mike called me last night asking me if I wanted to go for a walk. Thank god I'm in MY TOWN. However we talked for a while. It was great it bit the edge of my loneliness, but I made a horrible mistake. I was looking a David and Meg's second year anniversary pictures on facebook and was longing for company. I told him I wanted to go to Chicago. He took the bait and was like I'll go with you. Then he brought up Maraschino cherries. We use to use in our foreplay. He said he would bring them to Chicago with him. EEk. What did I do? I wanted friends and he is immediately going to lover. Oh shit.

I think I pissed off the guy I want to look at my finances . Matt Harrington hasn't replied to my email... shit. I didn't want to piss the one guy who I trusted. yeah shit.

Well it is 9:30 and I have so much that could get done today. Best get started on all of that action instead of staying in bed and wasting away the day. How much has changed since I got this job. Sometimes I want to go back, back to school back to college so I could change things. But even making more friends in college would not solve my loneliness here... my friends are moving away. The best I can do is do the best I can.

Work Tumbler

The work tumbler spat me out today. It seems like every day I go to battle at work. Some days are good and some are bad. I must realize at all times, I am a cog in the machine and I can only do so much before it is out of my control.

So with that being said, V line is going down tonight at midnight shift because we don't have boxes. Boxes are coming at 7 tomorrow. Best I can do. I will address the problem tomorrow to see if there was anything else I could do.

I had to chase after My. and Ken to get them to get me production staff for A. line plus there is a a req. coming in so we will have even more people. Yea kind of. But training will take them a while. Ugh. But anyway we should be able to make A. line orders if the machines will cooperate and make good parts.

Chubby is a friend, I should have not let my guard down as much as I did with her today. I think of her almost as a mother at work. She just has the calming everything will be fine feel about her.

ugh. what else? Oh yeah. I have been told My. is a backstabber by two different people now and implied by a couple others. I need to keep my eye out for him. That and he doesn't even know what my job title is. He thought I was an engineer this Monday. I mean seriously? I don't know why. It was really weird, at least Tom corrected him, but I was really embarrassed. It wasn't like that I was pretending to be one, but the fact that he didn't know shows what his carelessness/selfishness? I'm not sure. I'm not sure about many things with work right now....but one thing I do know for sure is that the dishes and a bath are waiting for me.

Ah a book and wine. What else do I need other then a puppy?

Goals

GOALS
(Monday March 29- Sunday April 4)

1. Run 5 days.
2. Brush teeth 5 times.
3. Read 2 books.
4. Write Amy.
5. Blog 4 times.

KITTY!

Jazz
I saw the kitty again today. Both at lunch time and after my work out at six. And we had so defining moments, Jazz ate out of my hand today and was very gentile about it. He also climbed into my lap today. Not exactly gentile about it, he put his claws out to make sure he didn't fall off, but I was in work out pants so he did scratch me. But we are bonding.

Production. Project A. is ramping up. All though I think we are having some issues (not enough workers to get it to run) which I will have to work out tomorrow with M. who will be a bundle of joy. I really don't want to think about it because I want to enjoy my time away from work.

I realized today that if I win the lottery my dream job would to read and sit in coffee shops all day. That or be at a museum all day. Art History museums...maybe the MET. However I am too interested in money and living well to think about transferring careers, besides I just got out off school... I couldn't afford to go back right now.

My Mom is awesome. She just totally listened to me as I ranted about work. Love her as my voice of reason.

To Fall in Love...

I am watching Sex and the city and one of the characters says she moves to New York to fall in love. I wish my move would bring me love. I am alone in MY TOWN. Granted I love having weekends like what I did, hanging out with friends and just sitting and reading. I mean it was so peaceful. But at the same time, driving back (which was a gourgous drive) I wanted someone of my own.

I am hopeless romantic and I want someone to buy me tulips and tell me I'm beautiful. The thing is I don't know where to find him, I have or had a prospect, Brett, but he never tried to cuddle next to me or kiss me in all the time we hung out. I wonder if I needed to make the move, but that is not me. And he gets texts and responds when he is with me so I read it more friend then potential boyfriend material. I didn't have my coworkers set me up with someone so now they never will. And I don't have friends in New Ulm yet so it is not like they can introduce me to someone. Sigh. I am alone. For anyone out there reading this right now can you please send Prince Charming my way? I just want my other half. That is not to much to ask for right?

I am going to be spending the next two weekends in New Ulm so I am sure, there are going to be moments when I am going to be lonely. I'm sure by the time I head up to the cities in two weeks I will be craving companionship. Maybe I will go out to a bar and cheer on the twins for opening day and who knows I will be able to a cute MY TOWN boy who loves baseball too.

Oh to fall in love would be heavenly. And if he is someone I could spend the rest of my life oh so much the better.

Will Power

People have said in that past that I have tremendous will power. That if I set my mind to something and take it into my heart, I will be able to achieve anything.

Why is it then that I'm sitting on my bed right now wondering why I only have six days left in the month in which I have to exercise five to get my discount? AHH! I don't like cutting these down close. I am planner, a achiever and right now I am NOT ACHIEVING! Why is that? It was my goal to get down to my ideal weight of 150 but I'm still 30 pounds heavier then what I want to be.

And why is it journal that I have been reading the same damn finance book for a month? It was my goal to finish it in a week, but I keep thinking oh I will get around to it, or I will read it these consecutive days and then never do.

Also, I know junk food is bad for me, I know it does not help my goal of getting down to my goal weight but again it is so good. I end up getting tempted eating tons of it. Tonight I easily downed coke, calzone, garlic cheese bread and chocolate. There is my calorie count for today and the next two days. Geese! What is wrong with me?

Money is another issue, one that I don't have as much of a problem with but still a problem. I'm trying to keep within a budget of 2000 dollars a month. This should NOT be difficult. Last month I broke it because I paid off my couch (which I budgeted for) this month six days away from the end of the month where am I on my budget? I'll tell you cutting it close. I can only spend 14 dollars a day. It will be hard to make it....but god I hope I do.

Lazy Evenings

Saw Jazz again today. I think he just thinks of me as a food dispenser or a personal scratcher rather then a human. But it was nice to see him again. I think we would get into a habit if I could pet him everyday. That way I would have a kitty kat to great me when I come home.

Cooked pizza again for dinner. So good. Who wouldn't love tomato, goat cheese and olive pizza!? Absolutely to die for.

Lazy evening, reading, doing what I want. They are the best. But Tomorrow is another day but right now now I am very happy and content. Off to clean up and pack so i can go home early tomorrow.

Rants

I had communion with the cat today. I stayed outside and on the ground just petting Jazz until he showed no more interest with me and walked off. The sun and the smoothing stroke of petting him was relaxing but I find as I think back on it now it doesn't calm me. I wish it did.

I am angry right now as I write--no type this. For the stupidest, smallest reason. Julie started reading the Red Tent a few days ago- I had this on my book club to read list. I wrote a note letting her know. Today Chris starts reading The history of Love which is also on my book club to read list. And trust me she knows. So why the double standard? It pisses me off. I put these on the book club list for a reason!I called Julie on it, and she said she would stop reading it. I felt bad, and told her I would call Chris. I have called her three times and left her a text message. I feel like she is doing this on purpose but I know shes not. GRRR! I just need to clear the air with her.

Work went surprisingly well today. There is still tons of work for me to do/figure out but I feel like I'm starting to get a better control/handle on things. Tomorrow everything will change but I came in at 7:45 today and left at 4:30. It felt good. Real good.

I didn't run today. I ate too much ice cream and cookies. Plus I drank fattening soda. I'm not gaining weight, but I'm not losing weight either. I think I actually might need to hire a personal trainer, but then I go back to the whole cost issue.

Speaking of finances.... I will try to hit up Morgan Stanley, Fidelity and Chase Morgan on Friday if I can get appointments. If I can't get appointments, I'm hoping to "Finish Smart Women Finish Rich" I might not get my finances figured out by March, but I hope be at least going down the right road.

I think that is what annoying the most, I feel like I'm not getting anything done, I feel like I'm just spinning around not getting anywhere. I suppose that is what happens when you spend most of your day doing something that you are not passionate about. I wonder if I could go back to school as a publishing house reader/editor. Or a librarian.

I wish Chris would call me. I wish I could pet Jazz or a dog right now. Most all I wish I wasn't so frustrated. I don't know if journaling helped.

OWW! Just put a knife in me instead.

Periods. Not theses kind ".". But the bloody messy kinds. Yeah I haven't had one in oh 3 months! The last time I had one was in January when I "broke" through. It is now March and I still don't have one.

The last time I was home (two weeks ago) I was all hormonal and crying at the littlest thing. I was a week away from my period and expecting a whammy of a big gush of blood. But when I go off my drugs for five days...nothing, nada, zilch. So I go back on the pill. Then wham! Friday hits a week later and I am dying at work. It feels like two little men with hammers are pounding on my ovaries. Moving hurts, sitting hurts. It hurts when ever I stopped long enough to let it bother me. I ran out and bought heat packs to help sooth the cramps away but they are still there. Mom says it is my birth control and I need to switch. I called in pain on Friday but not early enough for them to do something for me. It feels like a knife was put in my lower stomach and twisted. Hell even laughing hurts... sigh. hopefully I will get a very helpful call on Monday.

Overeager?

So K. told me today that meeting for the G. project was going to be slow for me there was nothing there for me so maybe I should not show up. Did I care? Of course not, I went anyway (uh otherwise it was sit at my computer and look like I was doing something...) with an excuse of talking about gloves. Uh yeah I forgot she did cover that already. What can I say? I'm bored at work. I want more. sigh.

Weight.
I am going to really, really try to count my calories this week. I really want to make sure I keep my calories around 2100. I use 1930 calories by being sedentary. If I exercise I should burn the extra calories if not more and lose weight. If I don't see results this month. In April I will contact a personal trainer to help me out.

Goals this Week--How I am doing.
1. Write Ben
Wrote him on Sunday.

2. Run 4 times
Will Run tonight (Wed, Thur, Sat and Sun)
3. Blog 4 times
This will be my third blog post of the week.
4. Set up meeting with Wells Fargo Financial
Will call me on Thursday.
5. Set up Free Financial advice that is given to me.
Will Call tomorrow.
6. Call Christine
Called her last night, if I don't hear from her, I will call again Sunday.
7. Finish Books-- "A Year in Merde", and "Smart Women Finish Rich"
Hopefully will read two chapters in Smart Women and one in Merde.
8. Fidelity set up appointment. If I don't like the 3 choices above Merill Lynch or
Amerprise Financial.
Don't like Fidelity. Talked with Amerprise... there is hope there.
9. Call Mom and Dad. Ask them all the questions.
Called Dad, he answered as best he could.
10.Change VSP as needed.
Changed the VSP to two stock market plans. Need to diversify hopefully will get
it done when I find financial advisor.

Rainy Days and TUESDAYS get me down.

I'm paranoid. I am really paranoid. I saw my boss, my bosses' counterpart and my HR manager in my bosses office today. My immediate thoughts were they are talking about how to fire me on Thursday. I have been paranoid ever since my HR manager asked me out to lunch on Thursday. I'm sure it harmless and to ask how I'm doing, but I think in the back of my mind it is about: A) it is about me going home every single day for lunch, and being anti social or B) wanting to fire me. I'm scared. I have money saved up but it would only last me a year if I only spent 2000 dollars a month. Scary.

Work is also throwing me in a loop. I have A. and G. and the O. lines, but O. pretty much takes care of itself. A. and G. are slowly moving in and I'm bored. They are providing me enough work. However I don't know everything about the systems and I still have to ask my counterparts how do some things. How do I go to my boss and ask for more work? Uh Steve, I don't everything about my job yet and still have to ask questions, but I would like more work? I need to ask Mom about this. She would give me good advice. I guess I will wait it out tomorrow. If I'm bored to tears like I was today for the last hour, I will call Mom immediately when I get home. She will know what I can do.

Financial Woes

I meet with Todd of Edward Jones investments. My gut said no. He is not my guy. He switched careers and has a daughter my age. He wants long term investors and yes I want to do long term investment but if this was his third career why should I trust him?

Quinn C. of Wells Fargo called but I'm more into sitting down and interviewing someone then calling online and trusting someone who I just meet over the Internet. Anyway he is calling back on Thursday, but I doubt I will go with them.

Food

I use food as a crutch, when I am depressed I tend to eat more and exercise less. Today I ate 2275 already. EEK! I really should go to the gym it will energize me but right now I just don't want to go.

I feel like I have hit a wall, I need to bust through it. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Goal for the Second Week of March

Goals for the Second Week of March

1. Write Ben
2. Run 4 times
3. Blog 4 times
4. Set up meeting with Wells Fargo Financial
5. Set up Free Financial advice that is given to me.
6. Call Christine
7. Finish Books-- "A Year in Merde", and "Smart Women Finish Rich"
8. Fidelity set up appointment. If I don't like the 3 choices above Merill Lynch or
Amerprise Financial.
9. Call Mom and Dad. Ask them all the questions.
10. Change VSP as needed.

How I did on the Goals for
1. Iron Work Shirts 4 times.
Check. Ironed 3 on Friday night. Fourth was to wrinkled. Put in to wash.

2. Read the VSP by Sunday.
Read on Saturday. Realized that I need to do Lifeplan actions. Since I am not
able invest the time to do it myself. Want to ask Mom and Dad some questions.

3. Run 4 times from Monday through Sunday.
Ran Monday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Felt great. Planning on doing again this
next week.

4. Brush teeth, keep up the teeth regiment.
eh. Failed pretty bad on this.

5. Blog 3 times.
Check.

6. Read one chapter of Smart Women Finish Rich everyday.
Only chapter 2. Will work on this goal for this week.

7. Clean Apartment Saturday.
Check. Cleaned everything but the backroom (still in progress) and the hallway (need to shake curtains out).

8. Clean up Backroom Saturday/Sunday.
In progress. Hopefully things will get put together after the Oscars tonight. I
will plan to finish cleaning it in March/April. Things will need to be sold/given
away before I get a bed up here. And I'm even debating that. I don't want it to
get to crowed in my apartment.

9. Set up Meeting Times at Wells Fargo & Edward Jones.
Have meeting with Edward Jones tomorrow at 4. Need to call back Wells Fargo.

10. If I don't hear back on credit card by Friday call.
Got rejection letter on Tuesday. Applied for Bank Credit card got that night.
Got accepted on Wednesday. Expect the card in 7-10 days.

Seven out of 10 ain't bad!

I Love Lola's!

Exploring MY TOWN
There is culture in MY TOWN after all. Today I went to Lola's. A beautiful little restaurant/coffee house with German brick character walls, hanging with Art to sell and the original murals on the wall where there was brick. The frappe wasn't greatest but the warm cinnamon pull apart was amazing and the couch that I could sink into was to die for. With free wifi you can't go wrong. This just proves to me that I indeed need to explore my town with a greater frequency. I need to walk down down town and just look, wonder and not question whether I should go in or not. I need to be fearless and just do! Go explore and make it home.


Chris
Chris left yesterday and thank god she did. I am an introvert and three days of her after work was making me go nuts. I love Chris but sometimes she just doesn't understand. For instance I told her I had to clean after she and Ryan where here. She was really wondering if they were that dirty. Well, when you have two more people in a space used only by one of course it will get dirtier! And she likes to make a mess when cooking... uh yeah of course it will be dirtier. That is another thing, I will never let her into my kitchen to cook again! She used a salad spoon to stir brownies and it cracked the spoon. It was one of my nicer cooking utensils as well. I didn't correct her or anything. I just bit my lip and said nothing. Friends are worth more then salad spoons. I am glad she is my friend, but I am happy she is gone, sometimes you just need a quite weekend by yourself.

Commun with the Cat
I saw Jazz today while cleaning. It was enough of an excuse to get out of cleaning for awhile. I ran outside with meatscraps and yes I bribed him with food. He also wanted to be petted. And I just sat down right there on the sidewalk to hang out with him. It was nice for him to ignore me, trust me and turns his back, to listen to other sounds.

Worries About Work
I am constantly worrying now that I will be fired. I don't know why, I do my work, my boss never sees me....no complains. Granted they are expecting me to do more and I want to do more but I wonder if I a trained enough or is this a learn as you go thing? Anyway I have little worry attacks about my performance. It drives me nuts. And I feel like I can't tell many people this so I vent here on my online Journal.


FINANCES
Ah, actually getting to the reason I blog. I am suppose to be keeping myself and the world updated about the progress of my goals. This month I am focusing on Finances. I was suppose to read one chapter a day of SMART WOMEN FINISH RICH. With Chris here I didn't, I am currently on chapter 2. Not good. But I am planning on finishing it this weekend because I have a financial appointment at Edward Jones come Monday. I need to be prepared with something at least.

Also I have a call back number for Wells Fargo investments. I also am planning on checking out Fidelity perhaps. Who knows maybe even Myrill Lynch. We will see how things progress.

In other news I got rejected by U.S. Bank for one of their credit cards, not enough financial history. I was pissed, got over in two hours and took out a card with my bank. Not the best card, but at least I have my own and will build my own history, latter this year I can always try to go back.

New Employee Woes.

Ah, what to do what to do.

Today at work it is really slow, and I mean really slow. I want to go down to my bosses' office and scream give me some more work to do! However all the A. stuff is not in, I have the G. but can do nothing on that too! Sigh. Plus the anyalstic crap I wanted to do I cant because the engineers don't keep track of one key piece of data anymore. I also feel strange asking him for more to do, when I don't even know if what I am doing now is right. I have no idea if I am completing everything I should. Hell I don't know if I am going to all the meetings I should be going to! But how could I know if people don't add me?

I also still don't know who who to contact about what things. Sigh. I really wish I could speed up the learning process of work to go just a tad (read whorph speed) faster. Going to read for 7 minutes before I have to head back to snail pace work day.

MONDAY MONDAY MONDAY.

And so March begins. This month I will be focusing on getting my finances in order. Each day I will be working to get my finances in order. Today I emailed both Wells Fargo financial services and Edward Jones financial services. Hopefully I well hear back from them soon. I also applied for a credit card from Flexpoints last February hopefully I hear back from them soon with a credit card! If not I guess I will have to find a new place to go. Maybe mastercard. We will see. But enough for now I have training tomorrow bright and early at seven ugh.

Oh and on that note. Made a stupid mistake at work, took stuff out a department before Chris got to it. She called me, and the call didn't go as I would like. I thought I sounded defensive, but we resolved it. Sigh. Hazards of being a new employee. Hopefully I will do better next time.

Goals For the First Week of March

Goals for the First week of March.

1. Iron Work Shirts 4 times.
2. Read the VSP by Sunday.
3. Run 4 times from Monday through Sunday.
4. Brush teeth, keep up the teeth regiment.
5. Blog 3 times.
6. Read one chapter of Smart Women Finish Rich everyday.
7. Clean Apartment Saturday.
8. Clean up Backroom Saturday/Sunday.
9. Set up Meeting Times at Wells Fargo & Edward Jones.
10. If I don't hear back on credit card by Friday call.

Random Rants

COUCH
First all and foremost I am sitting on my Ethan Allen oatmeal colored couch in my living room and it feels so good! After 13 to 14 weeks wait, I finally have it. It works really well and is really comfortable, so comfortable that I am yawning! Now all I have to worry about is spilling stuff on it and paying it off. There goes 1150+ dollars but it was well worth it and I still love the color.

WEIGHT
I weighted myself this morning. It wasn't pretty... in fact hold on. I'm going to go strip. I weight 181.2. I wanted to lose 30 pounds this year, now it is 31.2 pounds. My idea is to get to my goal weight of 150. I use to think that counting calories an exercising were going to be enough and now I don't know if that is going to do it. I know I am in the beginning of the year, and I haven't failed on my goal but I don't want to come around to the end of the year and have failed with little to nothing done. It is not that I don't know what to do to get there, it is I fall into traps. I count calories until dinner, and then don't count dinner calories. I get lazy and if I don't go one day or if I eat a lot of calories I get lazy and don't go to the gym. I buy chocolate eclairs when I shouldn't and gobble them all down instead eating them over periods of days. I also could stay longer at the gym. But the gym is also a different story, I don't always know what I am doing is helping me lose weight or is the fast way to do it. I would like to get a trainer, but I don't know how much it will cost and I want to get a nutritionist/trainer that will help be motivated and lose weight, not just someone who will suck my money. It is a lot to think about. But for now... here is how I am going to achieve my weight loss goal.

1. I will go to the gym 5 times a week.
2. I will count my calories. My limit a day is 2100 calories.
3. I will have weigh in Wednesdays, where I will take a picture and post it here. Maybe the humiliation of having my weight for the puplic to see will motivate me to get it lower.
4. On March 23 I will revisit my weight and how these steps are working for me.


Writing
I am actually not to far off on what I wanted to write each week, based off my goal. As of this post I will have had an average of 3 posts a week. I think this not to bad, I mean it could be better, but I am meeting my goal. However I keep thinking how nice it would be to have handwritten entries instead of this. But then I go back and forth on how easy this is to edit and type. It is a trade off and I need to figure out what I will enjoy more in the long run. Who knows this might just be a gear up for next year where I will hand write 3/4 entries a week! We will have to see.

Work
I took the afternoon off of work. I had a shit ton of stuff today and I will have a shit ton of stuff to do tomorrow. This is the section where I get to whimper and whine about how crappy tomorrow is going to be. whimper whimper. Deal with it! This is my blog!

Goals for Last Week of Feburary

Goals for last week of February

1. Run six times.
2. Teeth regiment.
3. Write Sidsel
4. Write Matt
5. Finish 2 books.
6. Blog three this week.

This week I am going to focus on losing my weight. I am going to exercising and focus on counting calories. I need to keep my calories around 2100.

Forever Young

Saturday (2/20/10)

Woke up and started cleaning since Mom and Dad were running late and were not going to get to my apartment until 10:30. From 11 to noon we did fix it projects, we figured out the room arrangement for my when my couch was getting here, hung my stain glass window, we worked on tightening my desk handles and my knobs in my kitchen. And finally we recovered my desk chair. We did this around the brewery tour we took up at Schells. It was really good, short but wonderful. You got to sample eight beers and drink your favorite. We also got to see the old buildings and have the history of place told. It was short and simple, I wish it could be a bit longer and that we could actually go in the brewery like you can do at Summit, but whatever. It was fun and I will take all my friends there when they come to visit.
After the brewery tour, we came back and finished the fix it projects. Then we went out to eat at the "Mexican" restaurant in town. It actually has a different name but everyone calls it the Mexican place. You know you live in a small town when. It was sketchy on the outside but when you see the parking lot, you knew it was a good sign. Packed full and the food was really good! It is fun to discover these things, It makes the town more bare able to live and more charming to me.

Sunday (2/21/10)

A happy but a sad day for me all wrapped up into one. Today I planed on going to Aunt Kathy's to wash my two/three weeks worth of laundry because my place does not come with a washer/dryer. Sigh. Love it/hate it relationship again, but I am not going to tangent off on my love hate relationships with MY TOWN or my apartment.

At Aunt Kathy's place was all my Aunts. She had planned a sisters day, and since I was coming it was at her place. My Mother and my Aunts get together every month for a sister's day out. I tagged along to this and loved it, I can't tell you how often I have longed for a sister of my own. I love living through my Mom and her Sisters, but sometimes I feel like I don't belong since I am a child, but at the same time not. Again today I had both emotions. For just once I would like to not have conflicting emotions about something. This is a thing that happens often to me.

My mom and her sister were planning on how best it is to break to their Mother, my 81 year old grandmother that is no longer acceptable for her to live on the family farm. This was really difficult for me, I know that my Grandmother is old, she fell this year while filling her bird feeders and couldn't get up for half an hour. Thank god she was able to otherwise we would have lost her. However I know she doesn't want to move, and I feel her pain. Plus I don't want things to change. Grams has always been in the farmhouse, and with her and my Uncle gone, no one will be living there. The Farmhouse/Farm land is a Century farm, my family has been there for over 100 years. The Farmhouse was the original post office for the town and now the house will have to be destroyed because Grandma/Nils wont be living there. I want to cry at the thought. It is for the best, but I don't have to like this change.


After my Aunts left Aunt Kathy and I made fudge, Mexican Fudge. It turned out well, I haven't cut into it, but the samples I tasted were pretty good. Aunt Kathy and I also planned on going up toe Grandma's place to learn how to make sun buckles on my favorite cookies. I am really excited about it! I mean again bitter sweet because it will be the last time I am with Grandma cooking in her kitchen but still I want to learn this and hope it will be a good memory for her too!

Mike's birthday was today. I can tell I am lonely because I keep thinking about him. I really miss him, check I miss being in a relationship. I figure if I keep thinking about him after I date another guy then I can call him. But I don't want to call him and get his hopes up. The main reason of concern here is Why do I keep thinking about him???!!! Loneliness? God I hope so!

In other news, it finally happened. I fell on my sidewalk. The crazy thing is I slipped there already once when I was heading out to get my laundry. You would think I would take note and make two trips with all the stuff I had to carry in, of course not! I piled it all up and of course fell. I whacked my knee pretty good. A light bruise but nothing too bad.


My song tonight is forever young. I want to be forever young and go back and time where it was still acceptable to call my Mom, Mommy and curl up in her lap while she tells me everything is going to be okay.

The Valleys and Mountains of Life

Life is like a roller coaster, it has natural ups and downs of life. Today was the valleys and the planning out of natural life.

Work was ups and downs of stupid mistakes, minor victories and they day ended with me wondering where I stand in my job. My job butts up against so many others, engineers, shipping and production. It is hard to determine where my duties end and an other's begin. I wondered tonight whether I have gone to far encouraging on the production floor, I also wonder where the boundary is for me with between is between kindness and being helpful and snarky and sarcastic is. I am both and i need to find a good balance at work.

Life has it ups and downs outside of work too. My insurance went up because I lost my good student discount because of a speeding ticket. Insurance is going up 8 dollars a month. Sigh.

Good moment was talking with Julie. I felt I had a bad chat with her yesterday, but she called me today over the news and we caught up for about 20 minutes. It is nice to have companionship for even a few minutes.

I am on Olympic junkie. It is thrilling for me to see Americans or the underdog win it all. Even though it is disastrous on my sleep schedule--I am staying up really to catch it all, but I can't help it. I love it. I will sleep in the in between years.

Tonight food was a crutch and I didn't exercise. Sigh. Mega fall. How I went wrong below.
1. I didn't fall the menu.
2. I didn't run.
3. I overate at dinner.
4. Because I overate at dinner, I didn't go run.
5. I continued to over ate because at this point I didn't care.

This stops tomorrow. Lent began today and so as my goal for the two months... I will eat within 2500 calories each day.

I am going to redo this weeks goals for the rest of week (within reason.)See below.

1. Read VSP. I'm serious. It will get read this week.
2. Run 5 Times.
3. Teeth regiment.
4. Keep up contact with friends and family.
Email Matt (Done)
Email Ben (Done)
Call Christine
Call Julie (Done)
5. Cash checks from Birthday. (Done)
6. Clean the apartment. Full clean.
Full Clean of Apartment
Do Laundry
Prepare for Couch on Tuesday

Goals for this Week

1. Read VSP. I'm serious. It will get read this week.
2. Run 5 Times.
3. Teeth regiment. 5 times perfect with retainers and flossing.
4. Keep up contact with friends and family.
Email Matt
Email Ben
Call Christine
Call Julie
5. Cash checks from Birthday.
6. Clean the apartment. Full clean.
7. Watch Post Grad.

Do you Bock?

This past Friday was my birthday. It was one for the ages. My friend Chris came down with her boyfriend Ryan. The entire weekend was dedicated to me and it was fantastic. I could not ask for a better people to spend my birthday with. Friday we went to Dinner at Turner Hall which is the restaurant behind my place. And then we watched Time Traveler's Wife. On Saturday we got up early ate breakfast at Perkins before going to stand in line at Bockfest. I have never in my life seen a deer beer bong, or some of the crazy costumes that were at Bockfest. Normally drinking for drinking purpose is not my thing, but I actually enjoyed the short amount of time I was there. We came home and I turned on the Olympics. I love the Olympics the history, the sportsmanship and the drama. I am so excited for the next two weeks! At four Chris and I went to go see Valentine's Day. It is a hard holiday for me, I don't like being single. But having Ryan and Chris down here I really didn't think about it. After watching Valentine's Day, I came back and cooked Chris and Ryan my favorite pasta dish. And much liquor was consumed. More then I ever had in my life before. Sunday we slept in, and then I got up and spent more time with Chris and Ryan. Enjoyed a nice breakfast of Cinnamon rolls before they took off. After that I slept. Was a wonderful weekend... couldn't ask for more.

I had a miserable day at work today. I should have known I would have been bored out of my mind coming in, knowing that I didn't have any major projects to do. It was also not a good idea when one of my coworkers tried to set me up today. Tomorrow she is planning on bring in a picture gulp.... I hope she forgets.

So yeah work was miserable, when I got home I made a salad for dinner, I actually think with the exercise I got in tonight (45 minutes on the elliptical) that I am within my calories (1897 minus 372 for exercising.)

I also cleaned my apartment within 2 hours! Who-hoo!

Not much to report. Going to go read... need to accomplish the goal of finishing the reliable wife in a week!

Jazz

My place in MY TOWN comes with a cat. To be more specific a black male cat, and he looks to be in his prime cat years.

In my childhood I was highly allergic to cats. Their dander merely touched my face and poof I was swollen shut, literally. As an adult I am less reactive. Naturally most people, if allergic, would stay away from said cat. Not only for that reason but superstition too. I on the other hand as a non rational adult, went out and bough kitty treats to bribe the cat to make friends with me.

At first he didn't trust me and ran from me. After a week of giving him treats every time I saw him, he now does not run from me but insistently meows at me to either A) become his personal scratching post or B) give him the highly fattening not be used as real food cat treats. Which he gets as many as he wants. (He lives outdoors and fends for himself the extra calories are not going to hurt him, plus they help with tatar control!)

Today as I was shoveling the walk, I noticed that Jazz was in the garage, normally if I don't see him in his box I don't even venture in, but when I called he meowed to me. It is interesting Jazz showed me his personal own playground in the garage today (the old landlords haven't cleared out their junk so that cat uses it). It was interesting to be on eye level with Cat and for him to head bump me in order to get petted, which he did multiple times which of course caused me to break out sneezing, but you know what all the sneezing was worth it. Jazz and I are on a whole new level now.

Monday Sucked.

Sometimes it is hard for me to be a good friend. For example "C" called me today. She wanted to rant about having to move in with her boyfriend early. She wanted to have a year in her Apartment to experience her 20s but now that her boyfriends roommates are moving out early, she gets to move in early. She called to complain about this to me while at her boyfriends house while on the sneak. And then hung up on me. Sheesh! Here I am extremely lonely down here in MY TOWN. I want nothing more then a boyfriend, I think about my ex all the time! Hell my theme song right now is Need You Now. And she calls me to complain, sometimes I feel more like her therapist then a friend. But I am ranting here. She truly is a good friend, and I don't think she purposely is trying to make it difficult for me.

In other news, today at work I was given the "D" products. So I am no longer just working with Brian, I am also working with "K" so that should be fun. I'm sure there will be days when I want to pull my hair out, but I guess they trust me enough to give me more work so yea! I'm doing my job right... I think. It is so hard to know!

As for goals this week, I ran today after work. I can tell I haven't exercised in days because my endurance was gone. Can't even run a mile without wanting to stop. Not good. Plus I counted my calories I ate nearly 3000 calories but exercised off 500. This not acceptable. I wondered why I can't lose weight, it is because of the crap I am putting into my system! So that means more veggies and fruits, they will be more filling. So veggies and fruits first before I am allowed pasta and carbs.

As for teeth, I brushed this morning so as long as I swing by the bathroom before bed I should be good.

Blogging... doing it now check.

And oh while I am complaining... I want to say screw you furniture shop that I ordered my couch from and you quoted me 12 weeks. Well it will be 12 weeks this weekend and my couch is NORTH CAROLINA! Get it on the truck and here! I will have to take vacation to have it delivered. And it will be a week late. GRR! Sometimes I wished I turned into the HULK and could show my rage. So now that I am pissed at two people and don't feel any better... I'm going to pick up a book.

Falling off the Wagon...

It has been a month since I made my goals. And like everyone else who has every made New Year's Resolutions I have fallen off the bandwagon. Teeth, Blogging, Weight, finances everything has gone to shit. So tomorrow I start again anew, again teeth will have their regiment, I will be blogging every night and I will be running an counting calories again. Tonight I am going to enjoy watching the Superbowl with my family. Hate the late night drive back, but tomorrow it will start again. This weeks goals are:

1. Run four times.
2. Read the VSP package.
3. Brush,Rinse floss and wear my retainers all week.
4. Read A Respectable Wife in a week.
5. Blog four times in the week.
6. Go to the theater alone. (This one might be scrapped depending how the week is going)(2/8 Comment. So not possible this week. Will try again later.)

This week is considered from February 8th through February 14th.

Goals For First Week of Feburary

The weeks goals:

Finish the book "Maus I", if I finish "The Time Traveler's Wife" all the much better.

Run five times. Have a weight in Wednesday.

Take care of my teeth: brush, rinse, floss and retainers!

Finances: Read VSP, pay bills, and keep better track of receipts.

This week's goal is reading. Reading good books, intellectual books! I want to read read read!

Goals for this Week

Read and Finish all of Maus I.

Run 5 times.

Teeth-brush, rinse, floss and wear retainers.

Finances-check wells fargo, read vsp,

Rotten Food.

So I have had really bad luck lately with rotten food. First I had a whole gallon of milk past its expiration date. Yuck! And I just had bought it the day before! Tonight when I was really craving a spinach salad I pulled out my spinach and most of it was slimy and it had a funky smell to it. I picked the good parts out and currently the rest is sitting in my trash can. This really irks me. I would like to keep a well stocked fridge but I don't want to throw out food, that is wasting money!I am being torn between the two sides and I hate it! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!

Also a rotten moment, I was introduced to a bunch of head honchos at the office today. It would have been fine expect two of the people told the whole group that they knew my father or mother. I hate this because I know need to wonder whether they think that I got my job because of my parents and I have my parents repetitions to uphold. Don't get me wrong I want to be like my parents but I wish I was only held to me. And I only thought this was a sibling thing.

As for goals, not really much to report I will brush, rinse and wear my retainers tonight. I also went to the gym today and was able to run actually run a full 20 minutes at speed 6.0-6.1. I am going to try to keep this up! It was amazing!

Thats the TOOTH!

So I have decided that by focusing on one goal a week, it might help me accomplish them better. This week I'm going to be focusing on my teeth. Tonight I not only brushed (typical) but rinsed and flossed! Tomorrow I'm planning on doing the two former but exchanging flossing for wearing my retainers. This way I will keep my beautiful movie star smile. I hoping I will be able to keep this up for the rest of the week.

Tonight I also got word back from Chris that Avenue Q works for her, so I booked the tickets. Now all I need to do is wait until said week make reservations at a nice restaurant and go to theater with her. Yea! More progress on my goals.

I did fall back on making my goal weight however, I binged today on food, I had takeout for lunch and I also made a huge super and then topped that off with Zebra Cakes (multiple packages) for dessert. I hang my head in shame. But I have a very decent excuse for not going to the gym though! There was a blizzard and the road was closed. Tomorrow I will go and give myself a longer then normal work out. Also I was thinking that at the end of this month I could look at the progress I made on my goals, not just my weight,and if I'm not making progress write out how I am going to accomplish them.

For example: My Teeth Regiment consists of:
1.Brushing my teeth twice daily.
2.Rinsing once daily.
3.Flossing or wearing my retainers (on opposing days)

I will accomplish this goal by reasonably thinking about said goal each day and making the effort every day. IF this fails, a visual system might be needed.

Enough for now. I have to be up early tomorrow another day of work.

Figure Skating... hell yeah. I'm such a girl.

I am watching ladies figures skating to see who will represent the United States in the Olympics. Yes, I am that much of a girl. I guess I'm just turning into my mother early in life, she loves Art, so do I, she loves coffee, as do I, she likes figure skating again so do I. Like mother, like daughter apparently. But life today isn't just about figure skating. Life today was about getting year goals and week goals done.

This morning I did a quick clean of the apartment. It gets surprisingly dirty very quickly, but a quick scrub of the tub and the sink and pass with vacuum and it magically gets better quickly. By then it was noon and a quick clean of myself this time I was off to explore my town.

It has been a year goal of mine to explore the little town I have moved to. The problem with living in a small town is not everything is open when you want it to be and the entire town is under snowbanks right now. We are in the dead of winter. The museum was open until 3 and so by getting there at 12:30 I had plenty time to go through it. I didn't need that much time. It only took me until 2:30. There were 3 floors, the first a dedication of the people who settled in the area and what they did, farm. It as charming but at the same time, things I already knew. The second floor was Art, there were a few nice pieces, but nothing of quality that I am accustom too. The third floor was my favorite, it was dedicated to the Native American conflict in 1862. I had studied it, so it had more meaning for me. And the architecture of the building was absolutely beautiful. The brick and wood floors were breathtaking.

From the museum, I drove 30 miles to "the big" city to get to a Best Buy where I could return my bad external hard drive and exchange it for a good one. It was not a painless experience but it could have been worse. Plus the roads were still good shape on the way back (it has been raining all day long (1 inch of rain according to the weather channel!) and the temperature was dropping) so I really can't complain, plus I now have my data backed up. My computer won't crash for a couple of years now because I have everything backed up. Haha Murphy's law take that! So yea! First of many year goals accomplished!

When I got back I backed up my computer, rented some movies because I didn't realize that figure skating was on... and then I actually got off my butt and went to run. I really wasn't in the mood, but thank god I did. I have lost a total of 3 pounds from my starting weight so yeah. But I still have a long way, 27 pounds left to go.

Still have a lot left to do on my goal lists, reading through paperwork, settling down with a book and trying to get some more read on it. But I am making progress.
For example going to Theater with Chris, I have picked a show and a date and I just need her to okay it and we will be going! So yeah. And today I called Julie... so I am keeping in touch with them. Hell I am evening planning on a Best Week Ever 2 with Julie, Christine and Amy. Amy so far is not going for it... but we will see. I am doing little things.

Anyway this is turning into a rambling blog. I best just end it now.

Damn External Hard Drive.

So one of my goals for this year was to get my computer backed up. When I was in town last weekend I bought an external hard drive so I could get this done this week and say good riddance to one goal! Well I was able to install it and drag and drop files on to it. It was a breeze. Then the hard drive wanted me to turn off my computer so it could finish installing. No problem. I turned off my computer and turned it back on. Then when I turned off my computer it said the hardware did not install properly. sigh. The hard drive displays for my C drive but not for my external hard drive (F drive). I can't get it boot up. Now normally I would just run over to Best Buy and return it. The nearest Best Buy is oh 30/45 minutes away! Yeah another reminder that I live in a small town. And I'm having serious issues about returning something that has personal files and pictures on it. Uh. yeah. So my Friday night is all planned out. I'm going to be driving into the city just so I can visit Best Buy... and hopefully I can visit Geek Squad with out cost or just return the damn thing and get a new one... but I will want to make sure it is wiped first.

In other happier news, I was able to uninstall and reinstall Itunes without a mishap. I have the newest,latest and greatest Itunes and it didn't give me problems! Maybe the solution to my computer issues is just staying hopeful and praying while dealing with them? I have heard if you do one thing at a time it helps you be a happier person. I would like to test this out on occasion, as a multitasker sometimes I feel like if I don't get things done I'm not successful but other times it feels that i didn't even get to enjoy the activity I performed. For example I had the TV on tonight and I feel like I really didn't commit to the programs... that I was too focused on Itunes or trying to get the damn hard drive to work.

Instead of going on and on ranting about things that no one cares about I'm going to cuddle up in my bed with a book. See you another night.

Goals for this Week

I am lucky enough to have three homes, where I feel welcome and will always have a bed. They are: my parents home, the lake home and finally my own little place in MY TOWN. Well this weekend I went home to my parents place. I love coming home, it gives me a chance to see all my friends, get shopping done (MY TOWN has limited shopping locations)and go to doctor and dentist. As I said I love coming home, but at the end of the weekend I feel more exhausted then when I started the weekend. I suppose it is because I am trying to get so much done that I don't get to actually sit and rest. I am currently watching the Vikings/Cowboys game and enjoying the quite but at the same time dreading the drive back to MY TOWN after it's completion. I will have the two hour drive plus the 15 minutes of hauling all my laundry, sheets and computer up the stairs and then unpack it all. sigh. But while I am resting and enjoying the Vikings lead I will reflect on my goals for this year.

1)Getting down to my goal weight... my weight has been going up and down by a couple of pounds. But I also have not been consistently exercising or eating right. The goal for this week is to exercise for seven straight days.

2)I have been blogging exactly 3 to 4 times a week. So far with that just keep it up.

3)Skin Regiment... haven't started an actual regiment. But dryness and acme are going down. Will keep using new face wash and putting on lotion.

4)Finances...more problems come up then solved. This week I will be dealing with two financial problems and solving them. I will also be finish the Millionaire next door and hopefully moving on to another financial book and moving forward with what I'm going to do.

5)Backing up my computer. I bought a hard drive this weekend and the plan is to have my computer backed up by the end of the week. My first actual completion of a goal if I get it done.

6)Chris saw my goal list this weekend, and that said I wanted to go theater this year with her. I'm going to look at the schedules for this year and see if they have next years up. We can then maybe start to plan what we are going to do.

Those are the goals for this week. Who knows maybe I'll be ambitious and get more done like reading an educational book or getting another movie watched on my movie list.

I Feel Like Carrie Bradshaw

I'm having a Carrie Bradshaw moment. I am sitting in front of my computer, which is situated on my desk, in front of a window in my apartment on the second floor, facing the main street. I could totally be Carrie Bradshaw of the Midwest. love of shoes? Check. Love of designer bags? Check. Guy issues? Well not now, but I have had plenty in the past so I'm counting that as check!

Anyway now that I have had my Sex and the City moment, moving on to my real life since my Big is not showing up any time soon.

Today as yesterday promised was crazy busy. I was in before seven am, changing the schedule, from 8 to 3 I was following around Danielle.... I'm going to stop myself here. It is 10:40 p.m. and I have to be up at 6 am tomorrow. I'm just going to skip ahead to my sidewalk story and come back to work war stories later maybe tomorrow, Friday or for sure on Saturday.

SIDEWALK WAR STORIES

I normally don't shovel the driveway at home. My entire life my brother or father did it for my mother and I. When I moved to MY TOWN, I moved into a historic home with a plethora of sidewalks. My mother proudly presented me with a shovel for when the time came. First dumping of snow (5 inches), I was fine, I hit the sidewalk with gusto and shoveled myself out. Up to Christmas I was fine, shoveling myself out each time. Well, for those of you who remember the Midwest had a little bit of a snow storm over Christmas. I was fine with this because I had traveled up to my parents home and was safely snuggled in there. I knew that my sidewalk at home in MY TOWN was accumulating snow... but I was hoping a neighbor would be kind and shovel/blow it out for me. I returned Sunday after being gone four days to no such luck. I was up to 8-10 inches of snow. No problem right? My Dad had replaced my Mom's shovel with one with a steel tip edge so it would last longer against the concrete. It wouldn't even get down to the bottom of the concrete! The snow had compacted and formed a nice 2-4 inch layer of ice and on top of that snow. I called my Dad in frustration. His suggestion salt and ice chipper. After running to 3 different stores in town I was the proud owner of a 24 dollar ice chipper and a big jar of salt. I am came back determined to win the war with the sidewalk. The snow on top of the ice took me an hour to clear. Then for the next half hour I tried chipping. The ice chipper just bounced off. I salted. I used it all. Still no love. I called my parents defeated. The sidewalk was clear (sort of) and the city couldn't fine me. I was done. 2 Blizzards and a plunge in to subfreezing weather happened. I cleared my sidewalk each time, using my shovel to scrape snow off the hills of ice beneath. It was pain. The ice still was there. The ice had thought it had won, but low and behold I was forming a plan. Yesterday sun and double digits and a forecast for the next few days to be *gasp* above freezing. My coworkers joked about buying shorts. I came up with a battle plan! I bought salt and cleared the remaining gasps of snow the night before. This morning I woke up at the crack of dawn just to make sure I could salt my sidewalks. After 10 hours in the office, I managed to get home. I thought about climbing straight up to sink into a chair, my window of time had past, I would have to fight another day, but no. I kicked the sidewalk first. Gasp. It was slushy... it would come up. A quick run to my 24 dollar state of the art ice chipper and shovel. With a little effort it came up. I could see my sidewalk again. Tear. I rushed to my stairs leading down the hill. They were already clear thanks to sun and salt. Down to the boulevard sidewalk, a lovely wide expanse of sidewalk with great trees planted next to it. Lovely in every other season, but winter when it becomes a sidewalk that is too wide and a pain in the neck because it is close to the road and the plows just throw snow back into your cleared area. It too had some patches of actual concrete. With a little love the area became bigger and bigger. Now I'm not saying that my entire sidewalk is clear, no. The Christmas ice still lingers in some areas but with salt still left in the bag and warm weather through the weekend all I have to say is I might still win the war! (Congrats if you made it down to this part, reading this must have been a drag for you, but clearing my sidewalk and writing this story has given me so much stratification it scares me.)

Being An Adult

Today I got vacinated for the H1N1 flu. I also got a shit ton of stuff to do at work dumped on me. I'm also on the production floor tomorrow, which means I will have to get up at 4:30 to make sure my sidewalk is ready (aka salted) for the sun to hopefully melt off the ice and snow. Then get to work by 6 so I can try to get some production schedules done then head off to floor by 7, be on the floor all day, before going home to shovel hopefully slushy snow. Oh and then go run so I burn off calories. Sometimes being an adult sucks. I would write more but I need to go prep sidewalk and get some cash so I will have money tomorrow for coffee so I stay awake. ;-) I hopefully will have less of a pathetic entry for tomorrow.

The Cut

The problem of living alone is that when you cook and you cut yourself, you have no one to run to get yourself bandaged up. You also have to cook for one which really sucks. But anyway, I cut myself tonight while chopping avocados. I immediately called my mother who promptly panicked. I suppose it didn’t help that I said I was light headed. After determining via the phone, that I properly didn’t need stitches, (thank god! The hospital is the last place I want to end up) I finished up cooking fajitas and was able to eat. But my plans of cleaning my kitchen and waxing the floor are going to be pushed back until tomorrow when I can bandage my hand more against the chemicals. Tonight I am planning on watching the end of Sleepless in Seattle and reflecting on that fact that I am making progress on my goals. It is not fast progress but it is progress none the less.

Yesterday I ran and I also stopped by the new movie rental place in town. I was able to get three movies for only a dollar and seven cents. How amazing is that!? So I was able to watch half of movie list last night. Night at the Museum and Night at the Museum 2 were a blast and very fun to watch. The only problem was the movie rental place did not have the musicals that I want/need to see to finish up my movie list. So Resolution number 12 still stays on the list.

Today I was able to clean my bedroom and my front room. Get gas in my car and go for a nice long run. Plus the gym was pretty much empty and so it was nice to have it to myself for awhile. I came home and promptly cut myself trying to make dinner and yeah the night is going down hill from there. My plan was to do the dishes before bed, but looking at the time, I'm just going to get up early to do it. So the current plan is to make sure my hand is bandaged well and I will wake up early tomorrow to start cleaning the kitchen and finish things up. Boring and a slow night. What can I say my life is that hip.

Nothing but the TOOTH!

Day Four of my project. Today a blizzard came in this evening. It didn't stop me from going to the gym. I probably went five miles on the elliptical and treadmill. I was all sweaty afterwards and had to pass and acknowledge two coworkers. That is one thing I hate about the small town I live in is running into coworkers when I don't want to. I also weighed myself today. I actually gained a pound, probably because I munched way to much last night and didn't run. sigh. There is progress on other goals however. I have read a chapter in "The Millionaires Next Door" so a step closer to two goals. And with a chapter a day i will finish in seven days. I also moved forward in my teeth regiment. I moved my floss from the drawer in my bathroom right next to my toothpaste. I'm planning on making sure I wear my retainers Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Flossing will be done on Tuesdays and Thursdays. My parents spent a small fortune on my orthodontia work and yes I am vain, I want to keep it that way. I'm also planning on calling my friends and caatching up with Christine or Amy this week. So by my count I working on seven different goals. Good progress for a week in.

Day 2 Whining and Progress

Day 2 of the New Year's Project. It is not easy to accomplish goals when you have to work full time. Also not a fun thing to do, when you live in a subfreezing tundra where it gets down to negative -25. All your energy goes into staying warm or making sure your ride starts in the morning. I kid you not this is what my poor car has to sit in outside. And today instead of focusing on accomplishing my goals this year I called my dealership to see if A) I could get a automatic starter to help me and my car out or option B) see if I could get a block heater, which would help my car out more then me. Both were not options because they would void my 7 year warranty. And I will not do that, it has proven too handy already. Sigh. Okay now that my rant fest is done AND I can't get what I want. I have accepted it. Damn American Instant Gratification. It spoils us, so when we don't get what we want it seems like such a disappointment.

After the whole car diabolical, I focused on my goals. I made it to the gym today to get down to my goal weight. I put in a good 50 minutes and I weighed myself today, I have 30 pounds to go. When you think about that in the short term it seems impossible but when I think about it in the long run, I only have to lose half a pound a week to make that goal. I also was thinking about ways I can slim down. One way is to give up soda, I drink mostly diet but switching to a juice at lunch might give me more energy and is a health er alternative. I can also figure out where to cut calories if straight exercise doesn't work. I figure I would give it a month or two to see where I am weight wise before I change another thing.

For my Goal to get my finances in check I have checked out "The Millionaires Next Door" by Thomas J. Stanley. Not only will it count as an intellectual book for my goal to read 12 intellectual books but it will help educate me on what I might want to do with my finances. I am hoping to have it read by the end of January if not sooner.

I also made my list of what I want to accomplish this week around the apartment which includes cleaning, grocery shopping, waxing the floor and the table. Not necessarily fun tasks, but someone has to do them and since I live alone, it has to be me. But it also includes doing something fun around MY TOWN. I am planning on going to the MY TOWN Historical Society this weekend. It is not 27 places to see on the guide, but I figure they would be a good place to start. And maybe I might do the whole 27 places at once because it sounds like there might be a podcast tour to go along with it. So a nice thing to do in the spring, summer or fall but not when it is below zero.

Anyway, I have dishes to do. I will report more on my goals tomorrow.

The Resolutions

Each year around this time I make my new year's resolutions and for the last couple of years one of my resolutions was to journal for an entire year. Each of the past years I have made this resolution I have failed. This year instead of actually writing in a journal, I have decided going online might be easier. Hence this year I am going to blog for a year. But what to blog about... easy my new year's resolutions and my attempts to accomplish them through the year. So with out further a due my resolutions/goals for this year of 2010.

1. Blog. At least 3 to 4 times a week.
2. Improve on water skiing (getting up on 1 and carving)
3. Snow Ski at least once. ( I use to be really good in High School, all conference 3 times running but since my freshman year of college,I haven't gone skiing. Now I will have no excuses not to!)
4. Keep in touch with friends. (email, call, visiting whatever I have to do to keep in touch with them.)
5. Get my fiances in order by March. (Savings, 401k, and credit card)
6. Back up my computer with an external hard drive by February.
7. Budget to frame at least one piece of art by the end of the year.
8. Go to the theater with Chris at least once this year.
9. Keep up a skin regiment
10. Keep up with my teeth regiment. (This means wearing your retainer on a regular basis)
11. Swim in a Waterfall.
12. Watch my too see movie list.
13. Read 12 intellectual books, not counting book club books.
14. Get down to goal weight.
15. Explore my new home town. This means everywhere on the tourist brochure I have picked up.

So here I have thrown down my challenge for the year. Hopefully tomorrow I can start one one of these.