Rants

I had communion with the cat today. I stayed outside and on the ground just petting Jazz until he showed no more interest with me and walked off. The sun and the smoothing stroke of petting him was relaxing but I find as I think back on it now it doesn't calm me. I wish it did.

I am angry right now as I write--no type this. For the stupidest, smallest reason. Julie started reading the Red Tent a few days ago- I had this on my book club to read list. I wrote a note letting her know. Today Chris starts reading The history of Love which is also on my book club to read list. And trust me she knows. So why the double standard? It pisses me off. I put these on the book club list for a reason!I called Julie on it, and she said she would stop reading it. I felt bad, and told her I would call Chris. I have called her three times and left her a text message. I feel like she is doing this on purpose but I know shes not. GRRR! I just need to clear the air with her.

Work went surprisingly well today. There is still tons of work for me to do/figure out but I feel like I'm starting to get a better control/handle on things. Tomorrow everything will change but I came in at 7:45 today and left at 4:30. It felt good. Real good.

I didn't run today. I ate too much ice cream and cookies. Plus I drank fattening soda. I'm not gaining weight, but I'm not losing weight either. I think I actually might need to hire a personal trainer, but then I go back to the whole cost issue.

Speaking of finances.... I will try to hit up Morgan Stanley, Fidelity and Chase Morgan on Friday if I can get appointments. If I can't get appointments, I'm hoping to "Finish Smart Women Finish Rich" I might not get my finances figured out by March, but I hope be at least going down the right road.

I think that is what annoying the most, I feel like I'm not getting anything done, I feel like I'm just spinning around not getting anywhere. I suppose that is what happens when you spend most of your day doing something that you are not passionate about. I wonder if I could go back to school as a publishing house reader/editor. Or a librarian.

I wish Chris would call me. I wish I could pet Jazz or a dog right now. Most all I wish I wasn't so frustrated. I don't know if journaling helped.